My Sister – My Best Friend
Pepsi, since you have been gone so many things have come to light. All those warning signs you told me to watch out for. Like pay close attention to our family and to face them head on when things are not right or when they are in denial. It has taken me some time to accept and forgive myself for not believing you when you were telling me things.
I just thought that you were jumping to conclusions sometimes. I’m sorry, my sister, you were right!
The day after you left me I felt like you instantly came alive in me. All I hear is your voice and our conversations every day. Whenever I make a decision, your voice is so strong within me making sure I make the right choices. Whether it is my buying something, wearing certain outfits, or making personal decisions, I hear you speaking to me. I used to be hesitant but now I take your advice. I realize you were correct about almost everything you were trying to tell me.
I know your voice will always remain strong and alive in my heart and soul. I hear you, Pep, when you're talking to me. I know YOU know I do. I hope I am making the right decisions. I know you are my guardian angel.
Pep I miss hugging you, fussing with you, laughing with you and gossiping with you, talking endlessly on the telephone with you. I miss us so so much!
Pepsi has taught me so much throughout the years that I will cherish and deeply appreciate for the rest of my life.
My sister has always been a pack rat. But I never appreciated that she was an organized pack rat. What looked like a total disaster on the surface turned out to be very much organized when I took a closer look. She had things like socks, shoes, and her shirts set up by color and style. Everything had a particular way of being wrapped, folded, and stacked. Her lipsticks were line up by color and design. Her paperwork always looked scattered and like a total mess to me. I learned later that these things were arranged neatly in alphabetical order.
About four years ago, I visited with her in Alabama. I remember folding her towels. She told me I was folding them wrong way. She said you have to fold them in a special way to save space in the closet and she showed it to me. She knew I was a little irritated but I did it the way she had shown me anyway. Later I realized I had learned something good. And ever since I've been doing the three way towel fold. When she visited us later, she laughed when she saw how I had done all my towels her way.
Pepsi loved shopping and looking at every trinket in a store. She would examine an item for twenty minutes before she bought it. And she would smile during the entire time in the store.
She loved jewelry. Most of the time when she bought a piece for herself, she also bought another one for someone else. She was most happy when she was buying things for others. She loved buying things in bulk. I learned that from her a few years ago.
My Sister always told me to hold my head up high when things are going wrong. She would buy me things to lift my spirit and get aggravated with me if I sulked in my miseries too long. So one can see why she held her head up high and carried herself as if she had not a worry in the world even during her toughest days. I learned from her to say to myself so what and to continue to hold my head up high and move on whenever I would make a mistake.
Pepsi always wore nice pajamas in the house. She would iron her pajamas to make them look like brand new. When she visited last year, she encouraged me to do the same when I would be at home studying. I guess she was tired of my sitting at the kitchen table studying in ugly sweatpants. She said to me Toni you really should start wearing nice pajamas in the house when you know you're not going anywhere and especially when you're studying. She said this will help you feel better. That night we went shopping. She went right to the pajamas. Then she started picking out pajama sets for me. She told me I am buying you these two sets for your birthday. I told her no you already gave me a present. She snapped back well this is the last thing I'm ever gonna buy for you. But deep down I knew she just wanted to do another nice thing for me.
The next day I wore my sexy, comfortable pajamas while studying. She walked passed me in the kitchen. She held her head up high and had a smile on her face. I heard a tiny chuckle come from her. No words had to be spoken between us, it was already understood. She was right! Wearing nice pajamas around the house did then and still does today help me feel better about myself. Pepsi was my worst but best critic.
My Sister – My Best Friend, I will miss you forever. Our gossiping, laughing, hugging, encouraging each other and and just being together. I miss you every day and I know I will miss you for the rest of my life. But I look forward to that day when we will be together again. Love you!! Your Baby-Sis!