If you only knew that I am carrying around with me your last note/card sent to me in April of 2005. The note along with your picture was before you were having some medical work done here in Boston. I had forgotten I had even placed your note in my work binder. Not so long ago, I was looking for something and realized that I had your card and picture still in there. Periodically, I read it and look at your picture and handwriting. Somehow, it makes me feel like you're still with me or close by. I used to tease your Mom asking her if she was jealous when you would write to me. It would always make her laugh. But for now, I’m not ready to put it anywhere other then my binder which is with me every day.
I have many memories with you, but one that stands out is when you and your Mom spent your last night with Cat and I at the beach. I sat there and watched you in pain, even though you tried to hide it while your Mom rubbed your legs and feet. You wouldn’t stay that night and how I wished I had begged you to stay.
One thing that I have learned from you is about ‘courage’. You were courageous while being sick. I do know that we can all learn something from your experience. Especially, with loved ones. It is important to spend time whether sick or not with family and friends and not be afraid to let them in close and/or know when something is happening with them. Even though you did not want people to feel bad, we all wanted more time with you and you tried to shield us from what was going on with you. How I regret not being a little more forceful for more time. That’s the selfish part of me/us.
Anyway, your sister and husband have done a wonderful job memorializing your memory. They continue to show how much they love you. In fact, this website for you, and without my realizing until now, is therapeutic.
Pepsi, I love you and miss you so much. Please watch over all of us. Thank you for making a difference in my life and my family’s.
Your Loving Godmother!
